I’m 34 year old I have blond hair and blue eyes. I’m a kind honest person with a good heart. I’m laid back go with the flow kind of guy. I grew up in a small town in the country where I was raised with good values and stable up bringing. I was in the Navy for 4 years and I got to see the world. I like to travel, I enjoy going to the ocean, going camping, fishing, swimming, going to the movies or just staying home and putting in a good movie and snuggling up to someone close. I’m looking for a kind, honest, caring, woman that want to experience life and all it has to offer. I don’t expect to be number one in her life but I refuse to be dead last. I don’t know why its so hard to find these quality’s in a person maybe they don’t exist but I’m going to keep looking tell I find her.
I’m not sure what to say about this cat’s profile. I mean, as far as terrible profiles go, it’s not that terrible. Most everything is spelled properly. While his sentences are a bit staccato, they’re not badly formed. And while he doesn’t really say much about himself, he doesn’t badly screw it up either. (Though, he does use the ubiquitous “I like movies” line. Jesus people…really? Why not say how much you enjoy breathing?!)
Yet, for all that is not wrong with it, it’s not exactly right, either. His lead line is “I have blond hair and blue eyes.” Here’s a tip for you fellows: While physical attraction is important for women as well, they do NOT need to you lead with your eye and hair color. It’s a stupid line that doesn’t sell you. Imagine if Mazda opened up every ad with, “Our car comes in 9 colors, including red and black.” Now, if your hair is a funny color like blue or plaid, that might be a great starting point. But you’ve lost most women the moment you just recite random facts about your appearance.
The real kicker, however, is that he ends his profile with a couple of hugely self-defeating lines.
Quote: I don’t expect to be number one in her life, but I refuse to be dead last.
So, Johnny is willing to be all-but-completely-unimportant in her life. Got it.
Quote: I don’t know why its so hard to find these quality’s [sic] in a person maybe they don’t exist but I’m going to keep looking tell I find her.
Ok, so grammar’s not the best, but it’s not completely unintelligent. What it does do, however, is convey a sense of desperation, loneliness, and frustration. None of these is attractive to a woman.
So, how might he have written his profile instead? Let’s take a run at a re-write:
The four years I spent in the Navy were the most adventurous and life-expanding of any in my life so far. I saw the world, met unforgettable people, and spent enough time with others to learn what is truly important to me. I loved being out and about, and that has stuck with me to this day. While no longer a military man, I still love activities that approximate it: camping, fishing, swimming, and being out in nature.
I’m not just an outdoorsman, however. I was raised a respectful, hard-working rural boy. Among the core values that I was brought up with, is knowing the importance of home and family. My at-home life therefore includes being able to hold my own in the kitchen, taking care of my body through sports such as running, skiing and swimming, and knowing when it’s time to just kick back and relax with someone I care for. I recently added a killer seafood entree to my repertoire, which I’m really looking forward to showing off!
About you: as I mentioned, I know very well those things that are most important to me. I’m looking for similar core values in a potential mate: kindness, honesty, empathy, and adventurousness top the list. I understand that there were important people in her life before I came into it, and that our relationship should not and will not change those relationships. She understands the same. I’ve not yet found just the right gal, which I think is awesome for the both of us should we be just right for each other.
I really didn’t deviate from what he was saying. I just presented it in a way that I think (and I’m sure that many women will think) is far, far more interesting. He no longer sounds aimless and rambling, but tells a story instead. He recounts what is important to him, and what he wants to be important to a mate.
Ten bucks says we just got him five times as many interested women than he had previously. FIVE TIMES! Trust me, I’ve been doing this for a long time. If we’d had more to work with (I didn’t want to make up anything about his personality on this one), I’ll bet we could write something that got TWENTY times as many interested e-mails.
Do you want 20 times more dates than you’re currently getting? Buy my book, and follow the formula.
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